hello.

happy birthday daddy!
it was a blast.
everybody dressed up for this day.
we had dinner in vivo@ bosses
had this special shark fin which cost like $38 EACH?
marvellous.
AND!
daddy bought me a coat from Espirit which i wanted for soooooo long
isn't it fabulous going out with family?

xoxo
R

hello.

i miss going out
i miss camwhoring
i miss manicure
i miss having nice make-up on my face
i miss wearing pretty dresses
i miss my alilbit fat body
i miss my shopping
i miss going on holiday
i miss skipping school
i miss being crazy
i miss laughing like mad each day

most of all, i miss erin and chloe and hankee and abby.
plus enhua and weidong! i just met shunhong yesterday.
so it's pretty okay. :D

im going to change blog again
because im going to lock some posts.
that i blogged in future.
thus be prepared.
alert, only sexy bitches and naughty bastards will be informed about the password.
relax, sit back and act blur.

xoxo
r

I walk and walk and walk
Since even the bus wants to bully me
Bring it on.

I walk and walk and walk
From hillview back to teckwhye
After 50 mins, i realise how tired it is.

I walk and walk and walk
I discover that ive lost myself
Idk what i want, idk what they want from me.

I walk and walk and walk
My mind is blank
I walk past countless of bus-stops
Countless of cars drive past me
Idk what i was doing.

I walk and walk and walk
I wonder and ponder who to call to share my sorrows
And i discover i no longer wants to trouble people.

I walk and walk and walk
I thought, why am i doing this to myself
Why did i even become so fussy and stubborn and not wanting to bow to fate and make life easier?

I walk and walk and walk
I reached home
Idk how i did that
Oh, i board a bus, 2 stops away from my house.

I walk and walk and walk
I no longer wants to talk about it
Everything. It's helpless till i get myself out.

When i finally reach my destination,
I discover that i don't even know who i was.
Im filled with no tears.

Good night,
Happy halloween.

hello.

After posting the post, i took a bus ride home.
I was thinking about how my day went by.
And i felt angry about myself and yet-devasted.

If i were to be less careless, i would have less injuries.
If i were to be more smart, i would have know what to do.
If i were to take note of my surrounding, i would have survived better.

I really wonder why am i suffering like that now. In order to have a better concentration on work, i rejected going to halloween party with chloe.
I've the right to play.
Im at the age to play now.
I feel so old now.

It's less than 4 mths now. But it really seeems like 4years to me now.
It's a hurdle.
I've never felt so suffocated before.
Normally i'll just look in the mirror and smile and cheer myself up.
But i can't seem to smile now.

Why is life so hard for me now,
Why must be in this company.
I shouldn't change at all.
Being a dark black 'bangala' worker might be far better off the cheap slave, at least, im still treated like human, i guess.
Pathetic.

hello.

sometimes when life is already going all so wrong, things goes more wrong to go against you even more.
how is it going to make it right when it's so hard to correct it.

life is not just grey, but black
totally to the max max.

1.bag is heavy to the maxmax everyday.
2. couldn't get things right ever since early in the morning.
3. got pricked by catcus.
4. no more in flower arrangement sector, got send to Hortpark for Clean and Green Week.
5. there goes my off day for friday. striaght 8days before the next off day!
6. up and down the slope with the heavy trolley with the stomach growling like mad, 8 times?
7. got cut by some damn wire- deepcut.
8. got cut AGAIN by some things idk what.
9. got knock by the ladder and GOT CUT AGAINNNNNNNNNNN!!
10. had to run around like mad for 1 hour plus to pack again for the things tmr, not saying that im doing it all ALONE! fine, it doesn't matter
11. once im out the MOSQUITOES hit on me like some mad shit ferrari! i swear there are more than 10 bites! please let me have dengue! GRRRR
12. ive got to face someone with a damn black face. like it's my fault. whatever!
13. even the bloody hell trolley is not working with me!
14. im sick and tired. hands trembling like mad.
and now! it's 630, im going home now.


what shall i do in future?
there are not much guy who is nice and with stable income, so that i can just stay at home and be a housewife.
hell to life.

R

Hello!

it's been soooo long since i even properly blog about everything
life has been so messed up.
totally.

enhua's gone
he's gone to somwhere near Los for his army training
we met up yesterday and i passed him the gifts i got for him
it's kinda sad, and a little get to the fact that he's gonna be away for a month.
and when i spilled my ribena today,
i just discovered how careless and not sensitive enough im, always
no matter what i do or say, at times i never just think it thru
and that's how i offend people or even hurt them
how awesome and how i rely on enhua and shunhong.
no matter how old i gets, i need them in my life.
so i will just await for his return.
1 month gonna pass by fast.

*beware
pictures heavy

some memories of what ive been doing recently
other than the boring old rants about attachement.
oh lord!

so when will justice be by my side over again?
why is this happening.
faster, time past faster please!
everyday i hope tmr is chinese new year
but christmas is not even here yet.

im so tired ranting each day!
the same thing, over and over again!

tsk.